hope

(picture by andrewsartworks.com)

Hope is what keeps me going. Hope is why I can face today, and tomorrow.

It's interesting how you can find hope at the most amazing times. Times of grief and great pain, even times of tragedy and loss. The day before Easter always brings back the memory of how I first discovered I have hope.

It was the day before Easter when I was about 15 years old and my Mom, my Grandma and I had just spent a very fun-filled day of shopping and planning together. There was lots of laughter that day and talk of our plans for the future. You see, like it should be for all children, my Grandma was the one person who treated me like a child. She spoiled me a bit (of course!) but she LOVED me...and demonstrated that love like only a good Grandma can!

Shortly after Grandma headed out to the bus stop to go back to her home (we were a poor family, lived in low-income housing apartments, no cars yet) we started hearing sirens...loud sirens. They sounded like they were stopping right outside our apartment. In fact they were. The ambulance and police were stopping right outside our back door -- because it was Grandma. Much to our horror we learned that she had been hit by a car, killed by a hit-and-run driver. Just like that.

I can't really describe the onslaught of emotions and pain that gripped me at the moment I saw my Grandma lying on the wet grass, body crushed, dead. Seeing someone you love in that condition can be like having someone mercilessly grab your insides and pull them outside...it's excruciating. If you've experienced it, you know what I mean.

"So where does the hope come in?" you might be wondering. Immediately I was surrounded by neighbors, all different cultures lived in those apartments. They were all very sympathetic and tried to comfort us, but that didn't help. I ran to my friend's house, they were a Mexican family whose kids I went to school with. I cried with their whole family, and truly they were the most comforting, reassuring people -- but that didn't help either. I went home and cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, exhausting my body, but that didn't help either.

Then finally I went into my room. It was dark and quiet. I fell on my knees, and I wept. But I didn't feel alone. I felt the comfort of His presence. As I poured out my heart (including anger and frustration) to Him, I felt Him there with me and finally got the comfort I knew I had been desperately seeking.

And that's when I knew I had, and still have, hope. Without Easter there is no hope. It's because He lives, because He rose again on the third day, that I hope. Do you have hope?

Big Diff!

...so this really nice lady got me all riled up on the phone today. She said, "Oh, you're almost 45 like me, you sounded like you were so young on the phone -- like you're only 25."

Hello! Almost 45?! What?! There is a BIG difference between 42 and 45! Three can be an incredibly huge number! I mean just look at these two guys -- there's only about three feet difference in their height, yet you would never hear one say to the other, "Oh, you're almost my height!"

Ouch!

Ouch, that hurts!

I've been slow at blogging lately, 'cuz life's latest changes have really "knocked me off my feet!" Recently some VERY good friends of mine have changed from our church to another. It's not like they've died or anything, in fact as they keep pointing out, we're all part of one church anyway...but I still miss them, and it's hard to get going again. This particular change has really affected me, especially since they were the ones who got me to blog in the first place! Dang it!

which one are you?

Imagine my little boy's shock when he said something harmless to me and I snapped back at him. I hate that!

I hate that shocked look in a child's eyes when you realize they didn't know you've had a hard day...they didn't know they were about to do the one more thing that would be the "last straw." They didn't know you had a long day of dealing with whiny, demanding, grumpy people -- and in all truth it's NOT their job to know that!

All they know is they didn't see our snappy response coming their way! In fact, it shouldn't have been there at all.

Just recently I've been struggling with keeping a good attitude around grumpy people. I realized that sometimes I can get grumpy just by being with them, yet I can't identify that I have any reason to be that way. It's like I was being a mirror and reflecting their behavior even when I didn't agree with it.

Then I read this article by an amazing Mom & writer, Marcia Washburn: (marcia@chec.org -- check it out :-)

"Make a habit of happiness. As the mom, you should be the thermostat (setting the emotional temperature of the home), not the thermometer (reflecting others' hot anger or cold shoulder attitudes). Most of us will be just about as happy as we make up our minds to be. Spending time in the Word each morning will prepare you for the day's challenges."

Wow, Marcia! That describes exactly what I've been dealing with lately! I've been a thermometer and reflecting other's anger instead of being the thermostat that makes our home a refuge...

Which one are you?

set your heart

I was reading in Malachi 2 the other day, and God spoke to the priests through Malachi in verse 2:

"...If you do not listen, and if you do not set your heart to honor my name,..."

And that phrase "set your heart to honor my name" really jumped out at me. A lot of times I just go with the flow, even if it's flowing the wrong way. Sometimes I feel a victim of circumstances -- you know, like I have no control over what's going on. And here is the Word, reminding me to set my heart to honor His name.

No matter what has gone on before, no matter what you thought you had planned for today, no matter how you feel, no matter what setting you're in or who you're dealing with -- I invite you to join me in setting our hearts to honor His name today!

A little hint to help us be successful: don't be afraid to ask Him for help.

Go Team!

They say that kids need heroes to inspire them to greatness. I can see where that is true, and I also see that it's often kids who are the heroes that inspire me! This blog is dedicated to two of my modern-day heroes: Rachel & Alecia (published with permission)

These two amazing young people made a commitment to cheer for their school. Shortly after "jumping in" to their school year they found themselves at the mercy of an immature, unfair, ridiculing adult -- but they saw it through. Way to go!

It takes tremendous strength of character to see this kind of commitment through! (and for a whole year) You did it, and I'm inspired by you! Thank you! This passage is talking of a different kind of persecution, but the principle remains true that when you put your trust in Jesus, He is your Defender. He will always see you through.

Luke 21:12 "But before all this, they will lay hands on you and persecute you. They will deliver you to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all on account of my name. 13This will result in your being witnesses to them. 14But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. 16You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. 17All men will hate you because of me. 18But not a hair of your head will perish. 19By standing firm you will gain life.

old fashion dinner time!

When I mentioned having dinner together in my last post it wasn't because that is just my personal preference -- although the more my family has dinner together on a consistent basis the more I like it! I first thought about my family's habbits when a good friend of mine (Kathy G., you know who you are!) got on her soap box about families who don't practice sharing meals together around the table.

At the time I had a weekly committment to a ministry that met every Wednesday night, as well as a meeting sometime during the week to prepare for that ministry. Then there were the sports practices that my young children were already committed to. Everyone was tired, we were moving fast, and I was really annoyed with Kathy G.'s soap box -- by the way, that annoying feeling is what's called "conviction."

Then my other good friend (Jill V., you know who you are too!)challenged me with the idea of saving all that money spent weekly on fast food. Followed by the undeniable fact that nothing beats a home-cooked meal, even mine!

But the real satisfying part of dinner together is the relationship built and supported by sitting down, face to face, and eating Mom's "dinner surprise!" If it seems I'm oversimplifying things, consider this statistic I got from the AWARE program that did a presentation at our church. Institute for Youth Development, 2002:

"Having dinner with your teenager at least 5 times a week can reduce the probability of their having sex by 20percent."

Wow. So if that was in 2002, I wonder what the statistic would be today. In this ever-changing fast paced world we live in, kids need something to count on --I'm talking about time together every day 'cuz those of you who know me well, know it isn't the food I'm talking about!

what's your minimum?

In our "image-conscious" society I hear a lot about minimums for staying healthy. Some people get started the moment they wake up -- you know, drop to the floor and do twenty. I was reading in the book YOU ON A DIET, (Dr. Roizen & Dr. Oz) and they say the very minimum you should do is walk at least 30-min a day -- NO EXCEPTIONS! Yah, well, my dog agrees.

Some say you've got to be disciplined, and dedicated to working out at least 20-min three times a week. Others say no, it's really 30-min three times a week plus 30-minutes/week weightlifting. As soon as I think I've heard the latest, there is some new information out there.

Fact is there are lots of friends, books, shows, & doctors who will give me "expert advice" on minimums for staying healthy...but I've got some different minimums to focus on.

What about the minimum amount of time per day spent with God -- you know, as soon as I wake up, drop to the floor and give the day right back to Him. What about the minimum number of times I hug and affirm my kids? How 'bout we sit down at the table, share a meal and talk over our day.

Face to face, eye to eye...30-min a day (hopefully more!) -- NO EXCEPTIONS. I'm still working on these minimums.

fight!

Don't let that flu bug get you down! Keep on fighting!
(sometimes "fighting" this bug means slow down or stop, you know!)

words

There's a verse in the Bible that says:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry... (James 1:19)


If only I had followed that advice yesterday. We had a big get-together at my house and my good friend walked into the kitchen. She was wearing this beautiful lime-green jacket and I said, "Hey, you match the salad."

(You match the salad? What was I thinking? Why not, hey--cute jacket!)

Must I say everything that pops into my head -- I think NOT!

cinderella

A kind blogger let me know about Steven Curtis Chapman's new "Cinderella" song -- you've got to check it out!




http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/thismoment.htm

beautiful green eyes

Well, Kinzy had another eye exam with the Cornea Specialist today. With this chronic virus she has an exam about once a month, sometimes more. When we were checking in at the front desk, a patient was walking out and called back to the receptionist, "See ya next year!"

McKenzie whispered, "Mom, wouldn't that be great to say...see ya next year!" As a Mom I have to admit I got a little choked up. Of course I hope and long for the day those beautiful green eyes don't have to get yellow drops and a bright light put in them -- but also as a Mom I'm so grateful.

I'm grateful Dave has a job that gives us good health insurance. I'm grateful we live in this country at this time, where she gets the care she needs from a specialist. I'm grateful that we belong to a loving, caring church where Pastor Randy will hug her and pray for her healing whenever he sees her...I am grateful.

letting go of stuff

See that cute little guy looking at the camera? He has been so helpful in teaching me how to let go of stuff! He's not so little now though -- almost bigger than T.Michael. It seems that what I once thought of as valuable, you know, that favorite book, the beautiful African basket, a new Christmas present is really nothing more than a chew-toy. Oreo has really helped me with this year's goal to simplify!

walking with God

I had a dream the other night...it was about walking with God. I loved it because it reminded me of other dreams I used to have when I was younger, dreams in which I would learn things from and about God.

In this dream I was standing with God looking up at Multnomah Falls when He asked me if I wanted to go with Him to the top of the mountain. Then He stepped ahead on the trail and reached back toward me with His hand outstretched in invitation for mine.

Instantly (as can only happen in dreams) several scenarios flashed through my mind...

In one scenario I got too excited, ran ahead, and tired out quickly.

In another I found the traversing back and forth up the mountain arduous, tedious, and even a little (dare I admit it?)boring. Every time I would look up to see how far we had left to hike I would get overwhelmed and want to quit.

In another, most-horrible scenario, I got so excited to get to the top I charged straight up the mountain only to lose my footing and fall tumbling down with all kinds of disastrous results.

Then suddenly (as can only happen in a dream) I was back at the base of the mountain again...I stopped, looked at God's outstretched hand, and realized I needed to just take His hand. He was not going to thrill or entertain me, but there He was still offering to take me along with Him. To allow me to share the adventure with Him. To lead me. To guide me along the best path...to spend time with me.

servanthood

...have you every noticed how it's easy to be a servant until you're treated like one? I've heard it said there is a difference between serving and being a "doormat" (and I agree) but sometimes the line between the two gets a little fuzzy. But no matter your definition of serving, there is One who leads us by example -- and He is ever faithful...and He was treated shamefully.

Happy New Year!

Here's a fun way to start the new year: I invite you to join me this year in reading this MOST-interesting book (The Shack, by William P. Young) and discussing it with me as soon as you can! It's a good one, trust me!

We Wish You A Merry Christmas!

Dave

Here's a photo of Dave in Vernonia during some better days for that community. We were there for a good friend's 50th wedding anniversary held at the Vernonia Community Church.

Just last week Dave organized a work crew and the kids and I were in the same town, in front of that same church scooping mud and cleaning sidewalks...it was a privilege to serve Jesus and Vernonia together with my family.

But the whole thing came about when it did because of Dave's initiative to pull together the "fastest service/mission trip ever!" That, and many volunteers willing to drop everything, get muddy, and work very hard!

I love Dave!
What a gift his is to me,our family and our big church family too!

it IS my job!

Tomorrow my kids and I are joining the team Dave is heading up to go scoop mud out of people's homes in Vernonia. Yes, it's the busiest time of year...yes my kids should be in school, yes there are a number of reasons why it's not my job...

But Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. And if myself was living in a cold house that had just been flooded so I couldn't even turn the furnace on to keep my kids warm, well, I would hope someone would come help -- and soon!

Sound like fun? Come join us tomorrow! Just email Dave at:
dave@coolchurch.com

ps. this photo from: http://www.davezilla.com/2006/11/21/winner-2006-not-my-job-award/

Hoy

Hoy sounds like "oy" because you don't say the "h" and it means "today" in Spanish. Today, there is talk of snow. Today McKenzie has plans to go to "high tea" with friends. Today DJ plans to paint her science project. Today T.Michael will be some kind of super-hero -- I guarantee it! Today Dave has a couple meetings planned at the church...But the absolute coolest thing happening today is that I get to use my Spanish!

Our church is hosting a toy and coat drive, and I've been asked to interpret for the families that don't speak English. What an honor! Because of where we live I get to use Spanish a lot. But this is different.

Hoy is a chance to warmly greet someone in their native tongue. Hoy is a chance to look at someone in the eye, and smile. Hoy is the opportunity to extend honor, dignity and friendship to people who might otherwise be hesitant to walk through our doors. Hoy is the day that someone might step a little closer to Him because of me...like I said, what an honor!